Saturday, June 18, 2005
yest went frdster n read some touching stories..shall post 1 which touched mi e most..abt a mother n son story veri long..but worth reading..
my mom only had one eye. i hated her... she was such an embarressment.. my mom ran a small shop at a flea market. she collected little weeds and such to sell anything for the money we needed she was such an embarressment. there was this one day during elementary school..it was field day, and my mom came. i was so embarressed. how could she do this to me? i threw her a hateful look and ran out. the next day at school..."your mom only has one eye?!?!" ..and they taunted me. i wished that my mom would just dissappear from this world so i said to my mom,"mom.. why dont you have the other eye?!if you're only gonna make me a laughing stock, why dont you just die?!!! "my mom did not respond..i guess i felt a little bad, but at the same time, it felt good to think that i had said what i'd wanted to say all this time..maybe it was because my mom hadnt punishedme, but i didnt think that i had hurt her feelings very badly.that night...i woke up, and went to the kitchen to get a glass of water. my mom was crying there, so quietly, as if she was afraid that she might wake me.i took a look at her, then turned away. because of the thing i had said to her earlier, there was something pinching at me in the corner of my heart. even so, i hated my mother who was crying out ofher one eye. so i told myself that i would grow up and become successful. cause i hated my one-eyed mom and our desperate poverty..then i studied real hard.i left my mother and came to Seoul and studied,and got accepted in the Seoul University with all the confidence i had.then, i got married. i bought a house of my own.then i had kids, too..now i'm living happily as a successful man.i like it here because it's a place that doesnt remind me of my mom.this happiness was getting bigger and bigger,when..what?!who's this?!...it was my mother.....still with her one eye.it felt as if the whole sky was falling apart on me.my little girl ran away, scared of my mom's eye. and i asked her,"who are you?!""i dont know you!!!" as if trying to make that real. i screamed at her," how dare you come to my house and scare my daughter!""GET OUT OF HERE! NOW!!!"and to this, my mother quietly answered,"oh, i'm so sorry. i may have gotten the wrong address,"and she dissappeared out of sight.thank goodness... she doesnt recognize me..i was quite relieved. i told myself that i wasnt going to care, or think about this for the rest of my life. then a wave of relief came upon me...one day, a letter regarding a school reunion came to my house. so, lying to my wife that i was going on a business trip, i went. after the reunion, i went down to the old shack,that i used to call a house...just out of curiosity there, i found my mother fallen on the cold ground.but i did not shed a single tear. she had a piece of paper in her hand.... it was a letter to me. "my son...i think my life has been long enough now..and... i wont visit Seoul anymore...but would it be too much to ask if i wanted you tocome visit me once in a while? i miss you so much.. and i was so glad when i heard you were coming for the reunion.but i decided not to go to the school....for you...and i'm sorry that i only have one eye, and i was an embarressment for you. you see, when you were very little, you got into an accident, and lost your eye. as a mom, i couldnt stand watching you having to grow up with only one eye... so i gave you mine... i was so proud of my son that was seeing a whole new world for me, in my place, with that eye. i was never upset at you for anything you did.. the couple times that you were angry with me,.. i thought to myself, 'it's because he loves me..'my son... oh, my son... "
haix..mix feelings feeling inside mi..im like tt man..haiz..argh..!! gg crazy..!!
thinking of you @ 12:28 PM
Tuesday, June 14, 2005
how i wish i can b in ur arms everyday..
im 2 fed up 2 tink of wat 2 write cos all my mind contains negative tots..haix..
7.14pm
haha..juz gt my piano theory results...i juz PASS ON E DOT..!! haha..happy but erm.... a lil disappointed cos i tot i wld do beta dis time..oh well..wat matter is i PASS..!! hee..
sigh..i feel so stressed..shan't tell e whole world abt it.. wat matter is u still by my side b it my obession or not... mayb 1 day i will find out e ans... oh well... baby.. my heart is long ago urs.. no matter wat happens..if our r/s dies.. so will my heart...
thinking of you @ 6:47 PM
Thursday, June 09, 2005
现在在课里， 哈哈！ wanted 2 try 2 type in chi..haha..aiyo..my chi han yu pin ying reali...haha.. oh well..shall slowly do it @ hm..hehehe..
我真的好烦啊！ 为什么？！ 我真的好累了！给我一点自由好吗？你知道我好难受吗？ haix。。 我知道我变了很多。。 可是。。 人是会变的。。 不是吗？ 对不起。。 我让你们失望。。 haix。。我只想要自己的自由。。 我长大了。。 偶尔让我学飞好吗？
aiyo..i gif up le..haha..head pain ar..tink of han yu ping ying..hehehe..sian..fin my work le..in class veri bored..haha..cher say lata gettin back ICA1 results..aiyo..haha..lata gt acct ICA1..tml gt econs ICA1..haha..nvm next wk hols liao..wahahaha..sigh.. mon n tue how？haix..i wanna say chalet get in trouble juz get ba..i tired le..mayb den i can get e attention n need i wan.. but i dun wan them 2 tink it was his idea..n den blame him..so.... haix.. im always in such delimma.. argh..!!
miss every1 in sec sch sia..life seem so much more simple..haha..but when in sec sch..i say life in pri sch is more simple..till now i believe tt..haha..i guess ppl always tend 2 look back n feel tt life is beta in e past.. however during tt time, life reali sux..haix.. y cant we stop growing up? den wun face agin popn oso..haha..im crapping.. haix.. we cant live in e past 4eva..life goes.. the world wun stop movin 4 us 2 catch up.. we haf 2 move into e future whether e future hurts or not... baby..let's face e future bravely..no matter wat we face ok? i love you always...
haha..yest baby say wanna save money get mi a new wallet..haha..touched..i say dun wan.. hee..baby save money 2 get wat u wan oso wor..hehehe..muacks.. thx 4 havin tt tot.. ^^, it reali touched my heart.. thx 4 comfortin mi yest.. *muackx
thinking of you @ 10:31 AM
Wednesday, June 08, 2005
ok..im in a BIG dilemma..how?! haix..mon gt class BBQ den i wan 2 go..but den tue i oso wanna go out wif him..!! haix.. but if mon i gg.. parents sure wun let mi go on tue.. but den again even if mon i dun go..i say go wif him..they might not let mi go oso..haix..!! im so stress.. how come i cant haf freedom?! every1 told mi aft o lvl they will gif mi..but den again..im trap..by my myself..a wall..sigh.. i cant say they dun gif mi freedom..they let mi go out wif frdx n all..but... haix.i dun noe how 2 put it into words..
back 2 e topic..i was tinkin say i gt 'chalet' fr mon-wed mornin..den both days i can go liao.. but i scared lata they wan come drop by how? haix..im dead..ask ppl 4 advice they dun noe how oso..haix..or shld i juz say tue gt BBQ but i doubt they will let mi stay over..haix..i feel like juz heck care..if get caught den explain..mayb tt time i can say my feelings out when im angry?! haix bt i oso scared 2 get into trouble..i guess tt's y im like tt now..haix..so trap n torn btwn..... im reali tired do you noe tt? u say u understand wat im gg thru..wat im gg thru is wat u all been thru..but den y do u still make mi go thru when u noe its pain?! y cant u all.... haix..i noe i dun put myself in their shoes... but... haix...im tired... im suffocatin... do u noe wat it feels like 2 noe tt my frdx r able 2 go out as n when they like n im.... haix... i noe i shldn't compare.. argh..!! is it when i rebel den i can get wat i wan?
can some1 tell mi wat 2 do?! im gg crazy..!!
thinking of you @ 7:03 PM
Monday, June 06, 2005
now talkin wif baby online..haha..its been so long since we chat online le..hehe..rem how fun it was haha..*muacks.. baby..thx 4 compromisin wif mi..though sometime u angry wif mi den so fierce..sobx..haha but i understand sometimes how if feels so i dun blame u..hehe... but sometimes i oso feel e same way ma.. i oso ren..dun wan u 2 get upset n feel guilty.. hehe.. dun always so fierce wor..hehe.. i love you always..
thinking of you @ 9:35 PM
Friday, June 03, 2005
i love you baby... no matter wat happens... i'll b by ur side even if u dun treat mi as ur frd... i'll always keep my promise 2 you... thx 4 stayin by my side wor... it means so much 2 mi... sori u haf 2 go thru so much... but trust mi... im oso goin thru a hard time... but i believe we can do it... haf faith k? hee.. *muackx
thinking of you @ 8:37 PM
